The Server is In
?Anon Server Prescribes a Dose to His Colleagues
Hi readers, it's Anon Server. BluntDinerz' Mystery waiter. I'm back with another weekly dose of common sense medicine. I think today I am going to change it up a little. I am always talking about how people need to stop disrespecting their server and learn how to tip, but a thought crossed my mind. I am assuming the readers of this article know this series is for good servers.
SERVERS! Listen up. There is a difference between a shitty waiter and a great waiter. Just because you THINK you are a great waiter, doesn?t mean that you are. If, after reading this, you realize that you are a shitty server, I believe its time to reevaluate your life and find a new job. Preferably somewhere NOT in the food service business.
If I am sitting at my table for more than two minutes without so much as a greeting or a "Hi, give me a minute and I will be right there", that's a problem. When people go out to eat it normally means we are hungry and impatient. Every thirty seconds we sit at the table without being acknowledged feels like a few minutes. Not to mention, it starts our dining experience off very badly, and by the time you get to the table we are already upset with the waiter. Yes, I know its annoying when you get a group of five people and they want a round of water in addition to their regular drink. However, don?t show that on your face. Also, don?t forget drinks or get the wrong drinks. If you are that unsure, write the f!@#$%^ order down! As good waiters do.
Please, for the love of everything, take down our f!@#$%^ orders correctly. Repeat it back if you have too. I know it takes an extra minute, but it will save you a lot of hassle later on, trust me. I don?t want to order a full rack of ribs and get a half rack, or order a New York Strip and get a filet. Its annoying. Because now I have to wait for my new food to come up while I watch everyone else eat and, I am not happy with you. You never know who is paying the bill or tipping the waiter.
Last, but not least, go that little extra mile for your table. I know you are busy, most of you, but don?t let your table sit there needing a refill or needing something, like ranch, hot sauce, or anything else. When we ask you for a to go box, please bring us the plasticware, a bag, or anything else we might need. Like a sauce to go, if we are taking something that requires it. You could just ask you know. ?Do you need any BBQ sauce or anything like that to go?? Just that little extra mile will go far. I have had people leave me more money because of it. People want their asses kissed by their waiters. Placate, and they pay.For you regular people, (You didn't think you were getting off that easy, did you?) have a little common courtesy towards your waiters. Stop and think for a minute. When you are in a group of seven f!@#$%^ people who each order two drinks per person, you are making your waiter carry fourteen drinks! Not to mention, if you work at a place like mine, we are not only carrying drinks. We're carrying plates and bread as well. If you want water or a second drink, take a f!@#$%^ minute and wait until the entire table has ordered. You are not going to need two f!@#$%^ drinks in five minutes.
This concludes another dose of moron medicine. So in turn, be great waiters or find a new profession. And don?t be an annoying guest. Tip your f@#king waiters! ~Anon Out.
Got a remark? Feel like I was too much of an a$$hole? Don't care! If you really want to speak your mind though, do so below. Leave a comment.
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